Monday, October 11, 2010

Afternoon Solitude in the Sun

May I tell you about a few special moments one autumn afternoon?

After a busy day, I yearned for a few moments of peace and rest outside. However, several towering trees, probably hundreds of years old, block out the sunshine in our backyard at that time of day. Behind the fence, the sun was shining brightly in one small patch.

Pulling a cushionless chair from the backyard over to the sunshine, I sat down with a cup of tea.
The sun's intense warmth poured over me and it felt so good to be alive. 

A cool breeze rustled the leaves of the surrounding trees and church bells from faraway peeled in the distance.

So many thoughts swirled around in my head. The past week there had been a death in the family as well as a birth. Isn't that always the way it is?  Overwhelming joy mixed with sorrow had both been felt.

In addition, the day was my oldest child's birthday. He's a grown man now, soon to be married to a lovely young woman, the girl of his dreams. It's wonderful to think of having a new daughter in our lives who fills our son's heart with happiness. When a child is content, a parent feels contented, too.

However, my son lives far away. Sitting in the sunlight, I thought back to the day he was born. The leaves were changing then, too, and my heart had been so filled to the brim with love over having a healthy baby boy that I thought it was going to burst.


The bottom line is, even though now we have frequent phone conversations, I miss him terribly.
Resting the back of my head against the chair, I felt tears trickling out of the corners of my eyes. It's so hard to raise a child, love and nurture him, have dreams for his future, follow his every step into adulthood from college to career, and then have to let him go. One must, of course, but who says it's easy?  Perhaps the bride's mother feels the same way. Could my thoughts on this, his birthday, count as a big birthday hug? I hoped so.

It's exciting to think of a wedding, a beautiful bride and her handsome groom, and all the days to follow.

Smiling once again,  as I gathered my tea cup, and pulling the chair back into the yard,  I headed for the house.



Dayle said...

Bittersweet, Susan. All mothers can relate, I'm sure. All the best to your son and his wife.

T's Daily Treasures said...

Beautiful thoughts Susan! And yes, solitude is necessary for my every day. I love the quote by Mother Teresa: "We need to find God, and he cannnot be found in noise and restlessness." Wishing you and yours many blessings :) Tammy

Victorian1885 said...

Good evening Susan
I feel your pain..I have two sons and once they are grown and married it is a differnet kind of relationship. Enjoy the wedding all all that goes with the planning. He will always be your little boy..

Jane said...

I love your picture of the chair and the words to go along with it. Here's many hugs coming your way!


Linda O'Connell said...

My hubby bought me a fountain two weeks ago, and it makes me so happy to hear that 'babbling brook'. I can so relate to your post. And, yes, seek that ray of sunshine wherever you can, cushiopn or not. Blessings.

Terri Tiffany said...

I know exactly how you feel. It is part of that time in our life when we let go and look forward to new times together with our children. It isn't easy but I do like to sit back like you and reflect.

Claus said...

such deep entry! Solitude is necessary in my life on a daily basis. I must get my moment of quiet, a moment to myself, to let my mind wander and think from the tiny thing, to the deep and complicated matter. We all have them; we all need them. Secret: I prefer to have them during the day :o) If I let my mind wander at night, I lose considerable amount of sleeping time, as it goes on, and on, and on....
have a lovely day!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Dear Susan such sweet words. I think we all need moments to reflect and let our feelings flow in this crazy and busy world we live in. I miss my children all the time but know I am blessed that I am their Mother and they will always be a part of me. Death and Birth...the circle of life!

Anonymous said...

Hello Darling Susan...

This was such a sweet and honest post! Thanks for sharing your moment with all of us....we all need time to sit, think and feel things out in our minds and in our hearts!

Distance, although painful, can also be a good thing. Your son is off living his own life...and those moments where you do connect with him are as sweet and precious as they can and should be. You will always be his mother, the real heart of the man he has become. Celebrate that!

Have yourself a Happy Sunny Day!
Ciao Bella!


Anonymous said...

btw..your thoughtful post was beautifully written!
What a brilliant therapy it is to sit and pour out your feelings with such an elegant use of words!

You indeed are a writer straight from the heart!

ciao again!


Terra said...

I am a mom, and a writer too, and relate to your thoughts of loving our adult children, and of birth and death occurring close together. Glad to meet you and you are welcome to visit my blog and say hi.

Chatty Crone said...

Well, as we have talked in the past - I certainly do understand your feelings. I'm right there with you.

I love to take a little time and just relax, have a cup of tea, bask in the sun when it's not too hot. It feels almost like a meditation.

It does a body good!


diane stetson said...

Look at it this are not losing a son, you are gaining a beautiful daughter!

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