Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Evolution of the Man Cave

When two people fall madly, passionately in love, they want to spend every waking second of each day together. They cannot get enough of gazing into each other's eyes and just being close to one another.

Fast forward after the marriage and several months of reality. The raging passion has simmered down a bit, love deepens, and the couple settles comfortably into a loving routine.

A few decades fly by, with the addition of a couple of kids. Love has continued to grow, deepen, and mature. Do the two people want to spend every waking second of the day with each other? Answer: NOT ON YOUR LIFE. By this stage of the game, the man and the woman both want, yearn for, and would kill for a little bit, (just a little bit), of space from each other. This is a normal, healthy desire. Space is good. Space is therapeutic. Space is a freaking necessity!

Five years ago, when we bought this house, my husband announced I could decorate every single room in whatever way my heart desired. That meant kitchen, dining room, living room, office, three bedrooms, and one and a half bathrooms! The one stipulation was that the basement was his territory. I'd get the whole house and he'd get the basement! Sounded fair to me.

The basement, therefore, became the "man cave." It was off limits to my decorating touch. It was a place my husband could get some alone time from all the family and noise. When the grown-up "kids" bought him a flatscreen tv, down to the man cave it went, as did his computer. He set up his own library, apart from the house library, and arranged his desk and all his office supplies. He bought a huge soft-covered lounging chair that flicks back to an almost laying-down position. The man cave became his haven, his territory, his hideaway.
Oriental Rug in the Man Cave

So how does a man cave affect a relationship? Does it drive a wedge or does the space it provides between a couple make them closer? The answers will be shared in tomorrow's blog!


Donna said...

What a GREAT post, Susan!! My husband would love a man cave. Our girls both still retain their bedrooms at home (one is 20 and in college, the other is 24 and in her first apartment but has so much STUFF that her room at home looks like she's never left! ha ha). By choice, the youngest uses the basement family room as her bedroom (rather than the small 7x9 third split entry bedroom, which became my office studio when we switched several years ago). I'm sure her downstairs bedroom will become the man cave at some point in the future!!

Also, I love your ballerina! I've never heard of Savers before - why did I have to learn about it after just makikng a resolution to spend less money this year!! ha ha


A New England Life said...

Well at least he has an oriental rug in the man cave classing it up a bit. My next door neighbors husband has a man cave too. Its dark as a dungeon down there and thats the way he likes it. Meanwhile she can't stand it!

Our 'man cave' is actually the family room. It's bright and airy with a pottery barn feel, and luckily that's just the way my husband likes it. We often say it is the best room in the house! Thank goodness because I couldn't stand a dungeon! Ha haa!

As you say everyone needs their space. Hubby hangs out in the family room while I sit in the kitchen with my laptop. Perfect.

Janean said...

do you think we appreciate our individual spaces more the older we get and the longer we live together?

diane stetson said...

I don't have a husband so no man cave in my house..I have the ENTIRE house to myself..now that's privacy!..ha ha ha. xo

Terri Tiffany said...

Whoa! He did it up good! My husband's man cave is in the garage-- desk, bookcase etc but no carpet!
I sent you an email about making money through my writing but it came back to me! Anyhow, I do make some but mostly through my non-fiction efforts with anthologies and other places. You can figure out what you want to write about and then research the markets for what they pay and submission requirements.

Stephanie said...

YAY! I am so happy that you wrote the blog *I* requested! Thank you Tia! I can't wait to find out the answers tomorrow!

Martha's Favorites said...

Hi: I can't wait to hear the answer to that question. I can give you my quess, but I will wait until tomorrow. Blessings, Martha

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